When it comes to commenting on my blog, all I ask is that you not be an asshole (that’s ‘arsehole’ for anyone who’s in the UK, and yes, if you voted ‘leave’, chances are you’re an arsehole). You see, assholes and Brexiters have one thing in common – they end up leaving the party. In the case of JaymesPayten.com, they’ll be banned and all their comments will be deleted, so if you’re going to be an asshole (a.k.a. a troll), you’re wasting your time and energy. All I need to do is simply click a button and the said asshole is a gonna. It’s really no hassle on my end.
What you need to know before leaving a comment on JaymesPayten.com
Now that we’ve got that first bit out of the way, here are a few things you should know if you’re going to comment on my site:
- I use the awesome commenting plugin, Disqus, which is pronounced like the word ‘discuss’. Not that the pronunciation is important, but what is important is that Disqus might not publish your comment immediately. If that happens, please don’t call the emergency services or get in touch with me. It basically means your comment has been flagged by Disqus’ algorithm. Keep that in mind before rewriting your comment several times and posting it again and again in the vain hope that it’ll magically appear. You know what the definition of ‘insane’ is, right? I talk about getting your comment flagged further down.
- Be nice and try to bring something to the conversation. If you can do that, you’re onto a winner!
- Be friendly. You might have loads of marketing experience, but please remember that not everyone on my site isn’t as gifted as you are. Play nice.
How to ensure your comment is flagged
- I’ve developed a blacklist that will see your comment flagged if you decide to use any curse words that are a bit too edgy. I personally swear all the time, and you might even find me dropping the occasional ‘F-bomb’ on here. Still, I can’t have you doing it if it’s not in context or just because you feel like firing off a tirade of swear words. F-bombs, when used correctly, won’t see your comment flagged, but please use them wisely.
- If you’ve got yourself a Disqus account but haven’t verified your email, your comment will be flagged. Go ahead and verify your email before posting a comment. We’d all like to know what you have to say!
- Bugs in the Disqus system will, from time to time, also see your comment flagged. I never said Disqus was infallible. If you’ve not broken any of the above rules, don’t worry, we’ll take a looksie at your comment and will publish it for you in no time. Again, no need to stress.
Righty then, we’ve discussed what will get your comment flagged. Now we’ll look at what will get your comment deleted and sent far out, way beyond the outer rim.
How to get your comment deleted
- Attacking other commenters. Don’t do it. It’s boring and you’re cleverer than that, right?
- Super negative comments will see your comment hit the recycle bin quicker than you can say ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’.
- Being a twit.
- Being a twit but trying to hide it by using sarcasm.
- Thinking you’re better than everyone else and claiming so, even if you don’t happen to say it directly.
There you go. That just about covers the ‘getting your comment deleted’ bit.
Now it’s time I possessed Ms. Targaryen and got her to burn an entire city along with its people. No, that’s not right. What I meant to say is that it’s time I laid out the big guns and told you what will get your Disqus account banned. Ready?
How to get your Disqus account banned. PS. This is something you shouldn’t be aiming to do
Let’s see what Disqus’ own site has to say about getting your account banned:
If you are banned across multiple sites, it is likely that your username, email address, or IP address was globally banned by Disqus, usually as a result of being detected as a spam account. – https://help.disqus.com/commenting/who-deletedremoved-my-comment-or-blocked-my-account
There you go; straight from the horse’s mouth. If I’ve banned you, there’s a good chance you’ve been banned on other sites, which will mean you’re done with regards to using Disqus to spread your slurs.
Any of the following will see me immediately ban your account:
- Any racist slurs will see you immediately banned. I’ve got no time for racists, and neither do the readers of my site. If you’re a racist, go for a walkabout in the Australian outback and please don’t take any water with you.
- If you continually have your comments flagged or deleted, you’ll be banned.
- If you happen to stop by my site just so you can say horrible, you’ll probably get banned. I will give you a warning first though, unless what you’ve said warrants a ban immediately.
- If I see a pattern of naughtiness (on your part) developing, you’ll get banned. The great thing with Disqus is that I’m given insights and analytics on every Disqus user. This info allows me to easily spot a pattern of naughtiness. If I do notice a pattern of toeragery (‘is that even a word Jaymes?’ It is now 🧐), you’re done.
- Being a dick will get you banned.
Why I’ve laid out these commenting rulez
If you think I’m only interested in keeping comments that back up what I’ve written in an article or simply want to shut down any conversations because they don’t agree with me, you’re wrong.
JaymesPayten.com is my site (the clue’s in the name) and I get to make the commenting rules (as well as all the other rules on this site). I’m not taking away your freedom of speech by not empowering you (deleting your comment or banning you). I simply don’t have time for your nonsense, anger, toeragery (there’s that word again), or hate speech. If you want to vent, there are many mediums online that cater to dimwits like yourself. This website simply ain’t one of them. Got that? Good.
A message to the good guys
You’re one of the ‘good guys’ if you see a nasty message and don’t respond, but rather flag it by hitting that ‘flag’ link. If you engage with the twits that right these stupid comments, all you’re doing is encouraging them. In fact, you’re more than likely falling into their trap. These halfwits seem to get off on frustrating other, fine people. Don’t play their game. It’s boring.
So that’s all folks. If you spot a nasty comment that breaks one of the above rules, flag it and I’ll remove it.